I Loved The Science Fair

In partnership with

Sifting through the emotional minefield of remnants, letters, documents, and things I salvaged from my mother’s basement after her death, I realized something that I wasn’t previously aware of.

I have no trophies from sporting events.

There might have been a trophy or two along the way.

Maybe I received a softball award and some track-and-field ribbons at some point, but they weren’t saved and stored in protective Rubbermaid bins.

Instead, I have a collection of Kawanis music certificates for solo, triple-trio, and quartet performances, as well as a tin box full of science fair medals.

I loved the science fair.

It was a competition that let me put all those hours of watching educational shows on TVO to good use.

One year, I ran an experiment with household cleaners and common kitchen chemicals, hoping to learn which ones removed “hamburger accident” condiment stains the best. In case you aren’t aware, sodium bicarbonate, aka baking soda, is a versatile cleaning agent and stain remover (even for ketchup or mustard stains).

The year after, I built a robot. I made it out of wood, rugged cardboard panels, motors salvaged from remote-control cars, and diode LED lights from transforming toys. It was cool (in that nerdy kind of cool way), but I’m not sure the judges believed that I built the thing myself.

But my best science fair achievement probably came when I was 12.

I wrote a computer program I called MALM (the Multiple Answer Language Machine).

I had taught myself to program in BASIC, like a lot of computer-obsessed kids did back then, with a borrowed Commodore computer and books I checked out of the grade school library.

I spent hours keying in programs, saving them to audio tape, only to find out they didn’t work on my sister’s boyfriend’s VIC-20.

That trial and error gave the know-how to write MALM.

The program had a simple interface that prompted the user to ask the machine questions.

I spent hours crafting question-and-answer pairs, trying to account for common typos and spelling mistakes. The program’s array contained thousands of question-and-answer combinations.

I used my family and friends for QA and question expansion, documenting when they asked a question I hadn’t considered. Then I would source a relevant answer to add to the program (thank you, Encyclopedia Britannica).

When MALM didn’t have an answer, it reverted to a randomized sub-routine with more sarcastic or comical responses. It was the 1980s equivalent of Google Home’s, “I’m sorry, I can’t help with that right now. But I’m learning new things all the time.”

I even “taught” MALM the Douglas Adams-inspired answer to the question about the meaning of life, the universe, and everything. 

MALM wasn’t very smart; it just gave the illusion of being smarter than it was.

But MALM was smart enough to impress the science fair judges who might not have ever even seen a computer at the time.

When I use ChatGPT or the like, I am reminded of MALM.

MALM might be described, by today’s standards, as a “micro language model,” with words stored in a system to predict what might be asked or said next.

And I am further reminded that, like MALM in 1985, the thing we call Artificial Intelligence is just software.

Sure, we’ve traded the 6502A processor in the VIC-20, which contained approximately 3,510 transistors, for Nvidia Blackwell B200 GPUs, which each contain approximately 208 billion transistors.

And AI is very clever, expensive software that might consume all the world’s electricity one day.

It is still just software, all the same.

Benedict Evans has a good way of framing this concept. “For as long as we’ve thought about computers, we’ve wondered if they could make the jump from mere machines, shuffling punch-cards and databases, to some kind of ‘artificial intelligence’, and wondered what that would mean, and indeed, what we’re trying to say with the word ‘intelligence’. There’s an old joke that ‘AI’ is whatever doesn’t work yet, because once it works, people say ‘that’s not AI - it’s just software’.”

We kinda take MS Word for granted in the Microsoft App ecosystem, which today defaults to Co-Pilot.

Word processing and spell correction were impressive when you first saw them.

Spreadsheets have changed how we run businesses.

And the size and scale of “the cloud” is impressive… when it works (I’m looking at you, AWS and Azure).

The next time you crack open your favourite AI chat tool, remember this: we built it, it is just data and code, and if we don’t like what it’s doing, we can always just turn it off.

Turn AI into Your Income Engine

Ready to transform artificial intelligence from a buzzword into your personal revenue generator?

HubSpot’s groundbreaking guide "200+ AI-Powered Income Ideas" is your gateway to financial innovation in the digital age.

Inside you'll discover:

• A curated collection of 200+ profitable opportunities spanning content creation, e-commerce, gaming, and emerging digital markets—each vetted for real-world potential

• Step-by-step implementation guides designed for beginners, making AI accessible regardless of your technical background

• Cutting-edge strategies aligned with current market trends, ensuring your ventures stay ahead of the curve

Download your guide today and unlock a future where artificial intelligence powers your success. Your next income stream is waiting.

Get Your Guide